I have often wondered how I would be able to fall in love again as a devoted follower of Christ and a single mom. A lot of questions cross my mind when it comes to love as a Christian Single Mom but in this blog, I’m going to focus on how to balance our love for God and our love for our boyfriend. Do you remember the feeling you get when you first start to fall in love? The subtle feeling you had when he looked at you; maybe the way he touched your hand; or it could have been something he said that made your heart do a somersault. Those emotions that flooded into your heart and through your entire body, saying “I love this man!”
You spend time together, talking, laughing and planning dates. The bond between you strengthens, as you spend more time together. You start to notice more of the beauty around you, things seem brighter and happier. People notice a difference in your behavior, saying positive things about changes they see in your life. Every time you think about him, you get excited and feel butterflies but before you know it, your thoughts are consumed by him.
It’s easy to say that we’ll continue to keep God in the forefront of our mind but we are human. We get distracted with emotions that take over our bodies when falling in love. News flash! There’s actually is a chemical reaction that happens when we fall in love. Pheromones rush through our system when we are near them. Neurotransmitters are sent throughout our brain to make an emotional positive link. One of the neurotransmitters that contribute to the erratic behavior we might feel while in love, is Dopamine. It helps control the brains reward and pleasure centers. Dopamine is the principal chemical that gives us the strong sexual attraction over time, or should I say, it is all Dopamine’s fault because it can also give us a chemical nervous reaction when we are not with the one we love, to the point that we might feel heartache.
Romantic love is not just a feeling but a whole motivational reward drive that happens within the human body. As our Dopamine levels increase, our serotonin levels decrease. The opposite can happen with certain people, which can lead to feelings of obsession or something to the effect of an addiction. As if Dopamine and Serotonin weren’t enough, there is another neurotransmitter to be aware of and it’s called, Oxytocin. God blessed us with this very powerful hormone but it can also be a curse if not regulated properly. When hugging or kissing a loved one, the Oxytocin levels in our bodies increase. This hormone plays a huge role in pair bonding and reproduction. The Oxytocin hormone is at its highest when stimulated during sex, birth and breast feeding. It is also known to be very addictive hormone which is why it is dangerous when activated in the wrong relationship.
With all of these hormones flowing through our bodies, it can be hard to take a step back and audit the relationship. Does this man love God? Is this man in love with God? Does this man inspire me to be more like Jesus?
Since we are human, we will never fully understand the love God has for us but I believe that we can be in love with God as much or more than we can be in love with another human being. How is that possible, you ask? For starters, let your thoughts be consumed by God instead of your boyfriend. Be grateful every time you eat, thanking and loving on God for providing the resources to satisfy your hunger. Every time you wake up in the morning, be grateful by thanking God and loving on him for giving you another day to live with your precious family & friends.
Filling your thoughts with a grateful heart to God, is about having a constant connection with Him throughout our day; thinking about His love for us in everything that we are surrounded by. Every time we are faced with a decision, turn to God in prayer. Every time we are hurting, turn to God for comfort. Being in love with God, is about putting him first in all that we do… and yes, that means putting him at the center of your relationship.
Now imagine loving a man that loves God as much as you do. A man that puts God first in his life. A man that has God in the forefront of his mind. A man that turns to God when he needs direction… The two of you together can conquer anything that comes at you. Imagine that relationship with God…
For an inspirational love story and overcoming obstacles, read Bali Girl.